The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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