I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
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