First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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