My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
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