Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
