He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize