So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
