My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
