your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
