i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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