I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
