Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
