is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
