I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
how does that bad decision feel?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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