dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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