its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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