i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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