that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Randomize
