I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
