but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
