i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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