yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
