Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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