Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
