people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
