That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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