I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
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