I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
