I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
