i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
