I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize