A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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