I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
We need to feng shui this bitch.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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