i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
