We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
