i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
