It's Friday. Sex?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
