We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
