I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
