How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize