How'd it feel making her break her religion?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
