Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
And my parents said I crawled through the house
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
