We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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