I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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