fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
