Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
