so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
