Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
