And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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