I am in a vortex of obligation.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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