you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
