I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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