I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
