So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Ketchup is God's man juice
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
