I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
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