Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
