Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
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