Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
