shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I enjoy the company of your penis
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
