and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
