it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
