if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
