Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Randomize
